Should You Have an Unplugged Wedding Ceremony?

January 19, 2020•7 min read

Should You Have an Unplugged Wedding Ceremony?

Have you ever been to an unplugged wedding ceremony?

An unplugged wedding is when the couple asks guests to turn off or put away their phones, cameras, tablets, and other electronic devices during the ceremony. Sometimes this request applies only to the ceremony. Sometimes couples extend it to the reception, though that is much harder to manage.

The basic idea is simple: be present. With our daily lives becoming increasingly distracted by devices, unplugged weddings are growing in popularity.

At the same time, I do not think every wedding has to be unplugged. Like many wedding decisions, this depends on the couple, the setting, the guest list, the photographer, and the atmosphere you are trying to create.

So, should you have an unplugged wedding ceremony? Maybe. Let’s think it through.

Why Couples Choose an Unplugged Ceremony

The strongest reason to go unplugged is presence.

When guests do not have phones in their hands, they are more likely to watch the ceremony with their own eyes. They see the bride walk down the aisle and get to watch the groom’s face. They might actually hear the vows.

A wedding ceremony is not long. Most ceremonies last somewhere between fifteen and thirty minutes. Asking guests to put their phones away for that amount of time is not unreasonable.

The second reason is photography.

You hired a professional photographer for a reason. You want beautiful pictures of the ceremony, and you do not want the first kiss photo to include someone’s iPhone sticking into the aisle. Most guests are respectful, but it only takes one person leaning out at the wrong moment to block the photographer’s shot.

The third reason is privacy.

This is one we do not always think about. Why would a couple mind if someone posts a picture from the ceremony? Why would a guest mind being in the background of someone else’s social media post? Why would anyone care if a flower girl, ring bearer, child, or family member appears online?

Well, some people do care. Privacy and respect matter. Not everyone wants to be posted, tagged, shared, or turned into content. An unplugged ceremony can help protect the privacy of the couple and their guests.

The fourth reason is reverence.

This is especially true for church weddings or ceremonies with a strong spiritual tone. If the ceremony and space are sacred, a couple may want the space to feel less like an event being recorded and more like a covenant being witnessed.

Those are good reasons.

Why Some Couples Do Not Go Unplugged

There are also good reasons not to worry too much about it.

First, guest photos can be wonderful. I have heard more than one bride say that some of her favorite wedding pictures came from a guest’s phone. Professional photographers are excellent, but they cannot be everywhere at once. Guests sometimes capture moments the photographer misses.

Second, professional photos take time.

Even the fastest photographers usually need days or weeks to deliver the full gallery. We are no longer trained to wait. I remember when digital cameras first had small screens on the back. People would take a picture and immediately look down to see how it turned out. That habit moved directly to our phones. If you have a fully unplugged wedding and no one takes any casual photos, you will not have any pics to share right away.

Third, family members often love being able to take and share photos. A grandmother, aunt, cousin, or lifelong family friend may want one picture to send to someone who could not attend. That may not matter to every couple, but for some families, it does.

Fourth, it is hard to control guests.

Even if you put up a sign, print it in the program, and ask the minister or officiant to announce it, someone may still take out a phone. That is human nature. Rules are important, and many people assume they apply to everyone else. So if you choose an unplugged ceremony, choose it wisely, communicate it clearly, and then let it go. Do not spend your wedding day policing the room.

A Good Middle Ground

For many couples, the best option is not an unplugged wedding. It is an unplugged ceremony. That means guests are asked to put phones and cameras away during the processional, ceremony, vows, rings, first kiss, and recessional. After the ceremony, they can take as many pictures as they want.

This gives you the best of both worlds. Your ceremony remains focused and reverent. Your photographer gets cleaner shots of the most important moments. Your guests get to be present. Then, once the ceremony ends, everyone can take pictures, share memories, use your hashtag, and enjoy the celebration.

You can also invite guests to take photos before the ceremony begins and after the couple exits, but not during the ceremony itself. I have also seen couples purposefully pause, turn around, and say You have 30 seconds to take as many pictures as you want. Pretty creative.

How to Communicate It

If you want an unplugged ceremony, do not make it complicated. Put a sign near the entrance. Include a note in the program if you have one. Ask your officiant or minister to make a brief announcement before the processional begins. The announcement should be warm and clear, not scolding. Something like this works well:

“Before we begin, the couple has asked that this be an unplugged ceremony. Please silence and put away your phones and cameras so you can be fully present with them during this sacred moment. Their photographer will capture the ceremony, and after the couple exits, you are welcome to take photos and celebrate with them.”

That is enough. You do not need to make guests feel guilty. You simply need to tell them what kind of atmosphere the couple wants.

What About the Reception?

The reception is a different story. Trying to make the entire reception unplugged is much harder. People will take pictures of friends, family, food, dancing, centerpieces, speeches, and funny moments. That is not necessarily a bad thing. The reception is a celebration, and guest photos can become part of the fun. If you want people to share pictures, embrace it. Use a hashtag, a QR code, a shared album, or a photo-sharing app. Let guests know where to send pictures so you can collect them later.

You may not need a photo booth if you already have guests with phones and a table set up with props. Sorry to venues and photographers who offer that as an upcharge, but sometimes people are perfectly capable of creating their own chaos with fake mustaches and oversized glasses.

The main point is this: the ceremony and reception do not have to follow the same rule. You can ask for a focused, phone-free ceremony and still enjoy a picture-filled reception.

So, Should You Go Unplugged?

Here is my advice. If you want your ceremony to feel sacred, focused, and free of distractions, go unplugged. If you are worried about guest phones blocking the photographer, go unplugged for the ceremony. If privacy matters to you, go unplugged for the ceremony.

Now, if you love candid guest photos and want people to capture the day from their perspective, allow photos during the reception and give them an easy way to share those pictures with you.

Whatever you decide, do not let this become one more thing that steals your joy. You can create the atmosphere you want, communicate it kindly, and then release the outcome. Your guests are excited to be part of your day. That should be flattering more than frustrating. Do what you can to shape the moment, then get lost in it. The people who love you are there. The ceremony will happen. The vows will be spoken. The kiss will be captured. Maybe by your photographer. Maybe by someone’s iPhone. Probably by both.

And either way, you will be married.

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Blog Post co-written with my daughter, Elizabeth Squirek. Check out her blog at somethingtoowineabout.wordpress.com

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