How to Choose a Wedding Ceremony Reading

One of the challenges of every wedding ceremony is finding meaningful ways to include family members and friends while keeping the ceremony within a manageable timeframe.

First, remember that the wedding is a weekend event, not just a 30-minute ceremony. I like to call it a five-act play. There is the rehearsal, the rehearsal dinner, getting ready, the ceremony, and the reception. Some traditional roles give people a sense of belonging and purpose. The rehearsal dinner often centers on the groom’s family, as they sponsor or host it. The reception usually focuses on the bride's family. The father usually offers a toast, blessing, or short speech. The Maid of Honor and the Best Man also offer a speech at the reception. The mothers typically have a role in the ceremony, often with a unity candle or a similar element.

So, if you have a friend or sibling who does not have a role, how can you include them? Or, you have a very special aunt or uncle, but they are not your parents and are not in the wedding party. What can you do to include them?

One of the easiest things to do is to offer someone the opportunity to read during the ceremony. If you have attended weddings, primarily indoor or church/ cathedral ceremonies, you have seen people offer readings. When asking someone to do a reading, it's essential to be clear about what you're asking, express why you think they would be a good fit for the role, and give them the freedom to decline if they're uncomfortable.

Here are my recommendations when it comes to readings:

Choosing the reader is more important than choosing the perfect reading

No one will remember what anyone reads; they will more likely remember who read something at your wedding. Jokingly, I tell people the reader can read the “alphabet” if they want to; the reader is more important. The reader's identity, their relationship to you, and their personal style can significantly impact the emotional resonance of the reading and the overall atmosphere of your ceremony.

Keep the Number of Readings Small

One reading is usually enough; Two readings can work. More than two readings can make the ceremony feel heavy unless you are in a religious tradition where multiple readings are expected. Whether your reading is a poem, a portion of scripture, or an excerpt from a book, all the readings tend to sound the same and blur people's minds. In a Catholic ceremony, typically, there are four readings: an Old Testament reading, a Psalm, a Gospel Reading, and another New Testament reading. Those ceremonies are structured for that kind of rhythm and often last longer, especially when communion is included.

For most outdoor ceremonies, barn weddings, garden weddings, estate weddings, and venue-based ceremonies, I usually try to keep the full ceremony around thirty minutes or less. In that setting, one good reading often has more impact than several readings stacked together.

Choose a Reading That Fits the Ceremony

There are many kinds of wedding readings. Religious couples usually choose Scripture. Some choose poetry or a passage from a novel, a song lyric, a prayer, a blessing, or something funny and unexpected. The best choice depends on the tone of the ceremony and the couple’s story.

For Scripture, I love Genesis 2 because it speaks to companionship, creation, and the idea that it is not good for us to be alone. My favorite New Testament reading is Romans 12:9-18 because it gives such a practical picture of love: genuine love, patience, honor, hospitality, humility, peace, and blessing.

Lots of couples choose 1 Corinthians 13, and for good reason. It is beautiful, famous, and powerful. It has also been read at a lot of weddings. I tend to steer couples toward other passages unless 1 Corinthians 13 has special meaning for them.

For secular or literary readings, Khalil Gibran is hard to beat. His reflections on love and marriage have a way of sounding ancient and modern at the same time. I also love “I Will Be Here” by Steven Curtis Chapman. It works beautifully as a reading because it speaks to presence, promise, aging, change, and staying.

The main question is simple: does the reading sound like you?

A wedding ceremony should feel like the couple. Choose words that fit your story, your faith, your families, your humor, and your hopes for marriage.

Avoid the Open Mic

Please do not hand someone a microphone during the ceremony and invite them to “say a few words.” That sounds warm and spontaneous. It can also become one of the most dangerous moments in the ceremony.

An open mic gives people permission to ramble, improvise, tell stories that belong at the reception, say something awkward, or somehow turn your wedding ceremony into a speech about themselves. I have seen this happen often enough to say it gently and firmly. Use a prepared reading.

Give the reader the text in advance. Have them practice. Make sure they understand when to come forward and where to stand. If there is a microphone, make sure they know how close to stand to it. Spontaneity has its place. The ceremony is usually better with a plan.

Where Should the Reading Go?

A reading usually works best near the beginning or middle of the ceremony.

It can come after the welcome, after a short opening reflection, or before the vows. In a religious ceremony, Scripture often appears before the message or homily. In a nonreligious ceremony, a poem or literary reading can help set the tone before the couple makes their vows.

The reading should feel connected to the ceremony, rather than dropped into it like a loose puzzle piece. If the reading is about love, covenant, friendship, family, faith, or commitment, the officiant can use it as a bridge into the message or vows. That keeps the ceremony flowing and helps the reading feel purposeful.

A reading near the end, especially after the rings and vows have been exchanged, will feel like you tacked something on at the last minute.

A Simple Way to Include Someone You Love

A wedding reading is one of the easiest and most meaningful ways to include a special person in your ceremony. It gives them a role. It adds beauty to the moment. It allows the ceremony to carry more voices than just the officiant and the couple. Choose the person thoughtfully and the reading carefully. Keep it brief. Make sure the moment serves the ceremony and reflects the two of you. And if your reader insists on performing the reading like they are auditioning for Shakespeare in the Park, just smile, breathe, and remember that weddings are full of surprises.

Download the Free Wedding Ceremony Readings Packet

Want a full collection of readings to choose from? I created a Wedding Ceremony Readings Packet with a collection of religious and nonreligious readings couples can consider for their ceremony.

The packet includes:

• selected Bible readings for weddings

• Old Testament and New Testament options

• traditional wedding readings

• literary and poetic selections

• nonreligious ceremony readings

• readings about love, friendship, marriage, commitment, and family

Download the free Wedding Ceremony Readings Packet here:
[Add GHL landing page link here]

Enter your email, and I will send the packet directly to your inbox.

Whether you are planning a deeply religious ceremony, a mostly nonreligious ceremony, or something somewhere in between, a good reading can help your ceremony feel more personal, thoughtful, and true to your story.

‍Article Image: Photo by Rene Terp

Main image: Photo by Mikhail Nilov

Thumbnail image: Courtesy of Rachel Rowland Photography